(no subject)

Sometimes when I'm talking to ReB, I just feel like a follower in his world. He gets all the girls, gets all the attention, everything -- And I'm just Dyl... Don't get me wrong, I love ReB!! But I bet his friends just think of me as the guy he's always with and who mimics him and shit. Am I really that much of a frickin' sheep compared to him?

I always let ReB control everything about me, I don't mind it because I want to make him happy, but I think that's just PTSD from the two times he unfriended me over stupid shit... I always spend all my time with him, and I act like him and jack -- I ignore all my friends for him and I'm starting to think it's kind of fucking pathetic how I cling to him.

Though, nothing's ever going to stop me from hanging out with him... I'm fine with ignoring my other friends, I can say things to ReB that I can't even mutter to my GIRLFRIEND???? I don't know. I've known him for a year or two now and we just clicked ever since we added each other, LOL.

I'm still mad about how much attention he gets, 7 girls in his DMs DAILY. I could never. Even if a girl starts to like me, I don't realize, and I just treat her as a friend; her then losing interest in my sorry ass. It's so embarrassing sometimes...

(no subject)

Watching House Party gameplays and talking to ReB. Is this peak humanity? Why do I never have anything to do ever? I'm really sick so I've only been talking to ReB, not even going to school. It's okay though, I have to go to school on Friday because of Computer Challenge. I'm excited for it BUT I'm just scared I'm going to embarrass myself. I'm literally going to be on TV, that's fucking terrible.. Oh god, I hate cameras, I hate everything..

I need alcohol and I need to kill myself. I'm kinda horny for blood right now, don't know how to explain. I just want to chug vodka and fucking die. Then I can cut myself I guess, but everytime I cut I start sweating violently.. I don't know why. I'm sweating right now but I think that's because I have a 101 fever, and my room doesn't have a single fan or cooler..

God, I HATE my new room. I don't even have a bed frame. I want to redecorate my room but I'm kind of waiting till I actually get a bed frame so I can put all my stuff over my bed inside of over my mattress. Everything is going to look really low down if I just put it over my mattress right now... Ew, I feel sweat running down my side.. Anyways, VoDKa out..