(no subject)

[calgabriel]

I hate MOST women... But maybe out there, there's a girl who I could hold close and kiss. It'd be nice to have a cheesy romance, putting notes in a girl's locker, following her around, admiring how she moves... A girl so perfect I could put away any bad fact about her -- any flaw wouldn't matter. Will love even to matter after BTK? Maybe, but as long as I live in the present, I'll find a girl. A girl that ACTUALLY loves me? That let's my flawed hands caress her..

I've never had any "hallway crush" or "love at first sight" but maybe she's out there... Sometimes I think, maybe my soulmate isn't even a romantic soulmate. Maybe it's just someone I'm intertwined spiritually with, like ReB.. Someone who I can follow and mimic.

Follower.. I've always been a protectee to the sheepdog, yet it's never helped. I've never TRUELY been protected from others. It's everyone's fault I'm like this.. I wasn't shielded, my vulnerable, mushy brain getting gauged out through my eyeholes. Every relationship feels like a lobotomy at this point, no more color, besides ReB.

Comments

[calgabriel]

Hnng, it's just she asked me out first. I didn't have the heart to tell her no. It took me a year to warm up to.. Y'know who.. (Not previously mentioned)

^^^^
Plus, I think part of it stems from insecurity.. I have the mindset that there's no way a girl would like me and Q's SO obsessed with me.. Before we got together, I was her "hallway crush" and she'd stalk me at lunch because we had no classes..