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[personal profile] calgabriel
Ever since I was little, I struggled with intimacy.. I mean, I don't think I LACK it? Though, I've only felt it once. With someone I dated but I was so obsessed over them that they broke up with me over it.. :( They got scared that I would be really mad because even though they were poly, I usually didn't like them having other partners.. God fuck these faggots. I hate them all.

Ruined my life, you're all that I have ever wanted. I did everything to try and keep you with me but, you don't matter anymore, whore. I kind of miss being in love, I miss the comfort it always gave me... I tried so hard to not get possessive over them, but I couldn't help it -- I don't know, I was just so scared they'd leave me; I had never felt the way I felt with them with anyone else.

I don't understand how to feel emotions. I try not to be clingy or claiming over my friends, but I have such an underlying feeling that everyone is going to leave me, I'm weird and a creep, I don't doubt people hate me. I don't know how to regulate myself.
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cal

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