(no subject)

[calgabriel]

YoU leT me VIoLATE yoU.. !! I YEARN for something to get rid of this weird feeling.. Hnnngg!!!!! I bet that one guy would’ve loved how I act now.. Ohh, give me another chance, we can abuse each other! I’m sorry for being a stalker-creep — Let mE hurt YOU!! Sometimes I’m glad ReB doesn’t like me in a romantic way because I don’t want to fuck up me and his relationship like I did with every other… Why can’t I be in control but why do I also HATE being in control?? Why can I not feel sexual or romantic pleasure/attraction?????? Is nobody out there for mE? I feel like I’m spiraling, why do I not have control over my own feelings!

Let me make you into a beautiful piece of art!! Let me play with the bones in your body as a fiddle — you could be perfect.. Oh, I’ve been having dreams about the gIrl who’s out there for me! I hope ReB doesn’t think I’m weird for how I act when I’m unraveling….. Need to slice deeper and deeper.. Till I can carve the girl’s name into my bone - Need to be intertwined in every way possible, ve ins inter.twined at the stem

oh god